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How to tell your children about your upcoming divorce

If you and your spouse are considering a divorce, you are probably feeling a great deal of conflicting emotions right now. You might be angry at your spouse, sad the marriage is over and relieved at the chance of starting a new life. However, at Lonneman & McMahan PLLC, we understand how important it is for you and other Kentucky residents to also consider how a divorce will impact your children emotionally. Breaking the news of an impending divorce requires empathy and sensitivity.

According to the Huffington Post, children are likely to feel the pain of their parents’ divorce for many years after the split. How do you and your spouse handle it in a way that minimizes their pain? Above all, they need reassurance that both of you still love them very much and do not expect them to take sides.

When talking about the sensitive topic of divorce with your children, it is best to be honest without bringing negativity or bitterness into the conversation. For example, you might say, “You probably notice that we fight a lot, so we feel like we can get along and be better parents if we live separately. We will both always be there for you.” You will also need to reassure your children that nothing they did caused the split.

In the weeks and months ahead, pay attention for signs that your children are not coping well with the change, such as aggression, depression or problems in school. Make a commitment with your ex to cooperate in parenting matters. Avoid using the children to get back at the other parent, even if your ex is making things difficult. Our page on parenting and custody can further explain the issue involving children and divorce.

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